Who Am I? When a child is stuck and unable to put the pieces of their lives together, they are less prepared to open up to a new family and allow themselves to bond and experience a healthy attachment.  Whenever there are loose ends in our lives, it can be impossible to attain closure.

Child Preparation uses activities that help a child understand who they are and where they came from.  When the details of a child's history is known it often relieves some of their anxiety and feelings of being in limbo. 

Giving A Child A Voice.  When children are removed from their homes, they were told by someone of authority that they were being taken away.  They are often placed in homes of strangers, and then made to follow rules that the stranger says is best for them.  Most children face many levels of helplessness and hopelessness.

 In Child Preparation, the worker and resource family work together to give the child a voice.  This is done by allowing the child to say what they want to do as an activity, and then being allowed to express who they are through that activity.  The worker then uses the activity to help the child process and identify elements that might be beneficial to be aware of, discuss or both.

When Will I Know When I Get There?  This question means, when will the child know they are with a family that will care for them forever.  When will they know they are finally home?  Until a child can accept their past and the removal from their parents care, they can't open up to a new caretaker.  

Helping children and youth accept their reality is part of Child Preparation.  When a worker and resource family understand the child's barriers, communication changes and bridges instead of walls can be built. 

Finding out what interests the child in your home has many advantages.  Firstly, the child is receiving not only your focus and attention, but it may be the first time they've received attention that was positive and not about some behavior that they need to "fix".  Another thing that is beneficial is that you are creating a culture of communication by normalizing the exchange of ideas.  And lastly, you are getting to know the child better and gaining insight into their personality. 

Once you've found out if the child wants to do something that has an arts and crafts element or something that is more active like taking pictures during the next biological visit, you're on your way. 

You'll need to purchase a photo album to place the art or pictures inside. This will allow you to memorialize the activity.  The Life Book is something that you will help or encourage the child to revisit many times through their development.  You will want to get a feel for how the child is processing whatever the activity uncovered.  Don't be surprised if the child has a totally different view of the activity a year later, or 5 years later. This is normal and gives you insight into how well they are dealing with their personal history. 

If you have any questions about how to carry out the activity that your child or children want to do, you can get ideas by speaking with your adoption worker, by googling "child preparation idea or activities" or if you've already adopted, you can receive Post Permanency Services where a worker can assist you.  You do this by calling: 800-585-SWAN.